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Form Wealth Management

A sister helping her brother



TIME_IS_NOW_2012
shadow
August 14, 2012 | 03:21 PM
Dear W.C.,

I am writing to see if you could help my brother.

He is raising two children on his own after his wife of 10 years died from an aneurysm. It was so unexpected and this has changed his whole life.

I would really like him to move by our mother so we could help with the kids. I know he is suffering both emotionally and financially. He is making payments for the medical and funeral costs.

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shadow
His wife actually had a better job than he did so now he is trying to get by on only one income where there used to be two.

He has never complained to me about his financial state but my niece sent me a letter yesterday saying they did not have any electricity in their house. She also said her dad had been selling a lot of their belongings.

Could you please try to help my brother? He is a good man going through an extremely hard time in life.

— Devoted sister

Dear readers,

When I called the sister she told me her brother had been very apprehensive about asking for our help and not thrilled she had written a letter on his behalf.

I called the brother to see if he would be willing to talk. I told the brother about how we helped with rent, utilities, food, car and transportation problems, toiletries, etc. When I asked him if he and his children were having difficulties in any of those areas there was only silence on the other end of the phone.

Finally I heard what sounded like a suppressed sob and he said, "We are having problems." Before he could say no, I told him I would be right over.

When I arrived at the house the door was opened before I even had a chance to knock.

A bereft man stood before me with swollen eyes and pale skin. I shook his hand and went inside.

The two children were sitting by a window playing a board game. The house was dark so it was the only place they had light. They looked up and said hello but went right back to their game. The father and I went to talk in the kitchen.

He told me he could not seem to get past the overwhelming grief he felt. He said it was affecting all areas of his life. He said the children were solemn and quiet around him.

His few friends were too uncomfortable around his grief and no longer came by or called. He said the only people that checked on him regularly were his sister and his mother, but they lived over eight hours away. He admitted to not being completely honest with them about the way they were struggling financially.

I asked about his children. He told me how he and his deceased wife loved the children. I told him how his wife would have expected him to use that love to pull himself together for the children. He looked at me and through tears streaming down his face he said, "You are right. I could hear her right now saying, 'Come on let's get our children's lives in order.'"

We went over all his financial responsibilities and wrote out a budget. I had a serious talk with the father about his responsibility to his children and how he could grieve but not let it take over his life to the point of not taking care of the children that were counting on him.

He admitted he had let his job suffer and had hoped he would be let go. He said he did not think he could face the same people he had worked with for years and the sad looks on their faces whenever they looked at him. I reminded him they were concerned for him because they cared for him.

I asked if he had considered moving closer to his sister and mother. He said he had but did not want to burden them with his grief and two young children.

I looked him in the eye and asked, "Don't you know how much those two women love you and the children? I would not be here to help if they had not searched for a way to help you. They want to love you and help you. "

He looked at me with relief as he finally understood he did not have to shoulder this grief and responsibility all on his own.

We went over his and the children's immediate needs to improve their quality of life. I looked through the refrigerator and saw there was a need for food.

The cupboards were almost as bare as the refrigerator.

The electricity needed to be restored. I told him The Time Is Now to Help would help him with all these needs immediately if he could help his family too. He knew what I meant by that.

He said he would look into moving by his sister and mother as soon as possible.

He said his lease was up in two months and I offered to speak to his landlord if he needed to move sooner than that. He also said his sister had sent him several job listings in her area and he would call on them right away too.

After several hours it was getting dark both inside and outside the house, but there was a much more positive feeling in the home. The father seemed strong enough to try and take on the care and responsibility of his family, along with the help he knew he could count on from his sister and mother.

We relieved some of the financial strain from their immediate budget. I told him after I received a job confirmation from the new employer we would help with moving expenses and first month's rent to keep him motivated to make the move.

He agreed to fulfill his end of the bargain and get to work for his now changed family. When I was getting ready to leave he told me, "Thank you. I know my wife would be happy I talked to you. Thank you for reminding me what I have to live for." He hugged me, crying, this time refocused on doing what he and his wife would have wanted for their children.

Six weeks later the brother and two children are thriving under the care of the sister and mother. He has successfully gotten a job that will pay for their expenses. They have found a very reasonable rental within walking distance of his family.

His sister and mother share in child care duties when he is at work. He still grieves the unexpected loss of his wife but can now move on with his children by his side, being the responsible father he needs to be.

My dear friends, we are so blessed to be a part of easing the pains of poverty for our fellow creations. Please remember the Richard H. Driehaus $30,000 Matching Grant. Every dollar you donate will be matched by Richard Driehaus, doubling your donation to help those in desperate need.

Once again, together we make our world a better place doing God's good works.

Health and happiness, God bless everyone, W.C./Sal

Help needed

Make checks payable to: The Time Is Now to Help, P.O. Box 70, Pell Lake, WI 53157. The Time Is Now to Help is a federally recognized 501(c)3 charitable organization licensed in the states of Wisconsin and Illinois. You will receive a tax deductible, itemized thank you receipt showing exactly what every penny of your donation provided for the poverty stricken.

Thank yous to...

Mark and Natalie Reno, Paul Ziegler/Ziegler Charitable Foundation, Kunes' Country Auto Group, Dick and Jean Honeyager, Whiting Law Group, Fairfield Grange No. 679, Gateway Technical College Marketing Principles Class -Summer 2012, Komfort Heating and Cooling, Jack Potosnyak, Visiting Angels, Pederson Home Care, Marilyn and Diana Kolovos, Michael and Kathe Beach, Joan Murphy, Donald and Serina Sovick, Dr. Mark and Cynthia Brower, Frank and Ann Huml, Robert and Patricia Host, Edith Klement, David Gallagher, Gerald and Marilyn Wilkin, Milton and Carol Ann Ancevic, William and Jean Isaacson, John and Sharon Lagalbo, John Poiron, Jennifer Olomon, Joseph and Lillian Rudolf, Jackie Hennerley, Sidney Johnson, John and Sally Dicmas, James and Marilynn Dyer, Sylvester and Virginina Seick, Albert and Ellen Burnell, W.C. Family Resource Center/Food Pantry volunteers, and all the God loving volunteers of all our caring food pantries, all of you who support The Time Is Now to Help donation boxes, and the businesses that allow our donation boxes. Anyone who would like a Time Is Now donation box in your business, please call (262)249-7000.

Honoraries: Paula and Bill McMenamin, Kathy Rodgers, Robert Blumberg, and AGF Investments in honor of Richard H. Driehaus' birthday.

Memorials: Pat Ebert in memory of Wayne and Dan Collamore.

Chris Ann's Resale Shop: I will continue to ask Chris Ann's Resale shop for furniture and household necessities to help our poverty stricken fellow Americans. If you have anything you would like to donate to Chris's shop please call (262)348-9088. They are located at 406 Hwy. 120 North, Lake Geneva, WI, in the old Floor Store building across from the Shell gas station and Next Door Pub.

Cars needed

Please donate a used car to help our fellow American's get to work and other daily necessities.

Goodsearch for The Time Is Now: Search the web with www.goodsearch.com and help to raise funds for The Time Is Now to Help. Just make www.goodsearch.com your homepage and pick The Time Is Now to Help as your charity.

Please visit: www.timeisnowtohelp.org

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