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Aurora

Husband left, mother lost job



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January 08, 2013 | 11:21 AM
Dear W.C.,

I am a single mother that is about to become homeless with my children.

My husband left me unexpectedly two weeks ago. I stayed at home with our two children, ages 2 and 10 months, and have not worked for the past two years as my husband supported us.

He paid all the bills, rent and provided enough money for food and other expenses.

Recent Community Living
'I am so scared...'
Dec 13, 2012
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When he left I had no idea he had not paid our rent or utilities for the last two months. How could I have been so unaware of what was going on? My babies were sick one after the other and then I came down with the flu myself.

When I was trying to recover from the flu he just didn't come home one day. I took a look around and noticed he had taken most of his belongings, including the car we had purchased together two years ago. Then the overdue bills started to appear in my mailbox. I guess he had been collecting them out of the mailbox every day before I saw them.

I cannot believe he could just up and disappear on his two beautiful babies and leave us in this terrible position. It turns out he was going to another woman's house everyday and they left together. I am so hurt and angry. I gave up everything for this man. I quit my job and my education when I agreed to become pregnant.

He was so happy when he found out. I truly thought he was the man of my dreams. Now I have to face reality and provide for my two children. I just need some help for the next few months until I can fend for myself.

Nearly homeless mother and children

Dear readers,

I am ashamed by how some of my gender acts at times. The thought of leaving my wife and children in the state this man did is an unthinkable act.

How they can just leave without any regard for their children I do not understand. This mother was afraid and hurt. I could hear her fear in her letter, over the phone and at our visit. The length of time the deceit had occurred, the planning that went into leaving his wife and children penniless, made it even more hurtful.

When I contacted this mother she was in the process of being evicted. She was desperately afraid as she had nowhere else to go. She had very little food, was nearly out of diapers and only had an old broken down car to move her children and belongings into. I called the landlord to plead for her and the children. The landlord at first was not willing to negotiate at all. They wanted the woman evicted.

When I explained the situation the landlord was a little more receptive. She had thought the woman was making up the story in order to not pay her rent. After my validation of the story she was more willing to work with the mother.

The first thing I did for this mother and children was bring the rent up to date and paid one month into the future to give them a chance to find a more reasonable rental. The landlord was so kind she even gave a 50 percent discount for the last two months rent as long as it was paid up. After speaking with the landlord I went on to other areas they were struggling.

The utility bills were not paid for the last two months either. The husband must have been saving his money for his deceitful departure. The cabinets and refrigerator were nearly empty. The mother had applied for other assistance, but she was on a long waiting list.

I observed the mother with her two children. They were very active, yet even while we spoke she kept a watchful eye on them constantly. She got up numerous times to correct a behavior or prevent an accident, yet always did this with a calm and loving manner. Even with the immense amount of stress, worry and hurt she carried, her relationship with her children was one of compassion and love.

We went over their other immediate needs of food and toiletries. We provided emergency assistance with both items. The mother and children were thrilled to have the cupboards and refrigerator filled. She cried when a volunteer carried in diapers, bags of toiletries and other necessities for the children.

Soon after stopping the eviction and impending homelessness and providing emergency necessities for the mother and children, I went to work to try to turn the tragedy her husband had created into a new life for the mother and children. I found the woman had previously had an excellent future with one of the few companies going strong in the recession that has been so hard on many American companies.

She had worked for this company for over six years prior to having her children. After having two children in two years her husband convinced her to give up her job and stay home with the children. All had seemed well until his betrayal.

I found out the mother had an older sister when she stopped by during my visit. I soon found out the older sister had never married and lived all alone. I asked some questions about both sisters finances. At first the older sister was a little puzzled by my questions. The older sister told me she was running an internet based business from her home, but was struggling financially as well. She said she liked that she could make her own hours but still needed the economy to improve before she could be successful.

I decided to do what my mother always did, say what was on my mind. I told them they needed each other.

Together, as long as the mother could get her old job back, they could finally make ends meet financially. I asked them who they trusted any more in this world than each other. They did not even have to answer me as they both began to cry and hug each other.

Through their tears I could make out how they both vowed to help one another. They decided to find a rental together that they all could live in and afford. The older sister said she would no longer be lonely with her sister and the babies there to fill the emptiness she often felt. Both women admitted they would feel so much safer living together.

The older sister also said she could watch the children while her sister was at work and run her own business in the evenings. The mother even offered to help her when the babies were asleep.

I then asked the mother, "Who is calling your old boss, you or me?" The mother looked surprised as she said, "Now?" I said, "The sooner this mess gets sorted out, the better."

I could see she was still emotional and nervous but she bravely asked me if she could use my phone, since her phone was disconnected by her husband. She ended up being on the phone for nearly fifteen minutes. When she hung up she looked at both the sister and I with wide eyes and hugged both of us. She said, "We just met, my life is a complete mess, thank you for..."

With that she burst into tears again, unable to finish her sentence. I told her, as I tell so many we help, "Do not thank me, thank the supporters of The Time Is Now to Help and God for all that is done."

Since the mother got her excellent job back she was in need of reliable transportation, not just the old rundown car the husband had decided to leave behind. After a thorough appraisal of her car it was decided it was not worth repairing.

The good news was we had just received a decent donated vehicle that would be perfect for this woman for work. We did a trade and she donated her vehicle to be used for scrap.

Once again, together, we replaced the fear, pain and suffering of poverty, with compassion and healing.

Health and Happiness,

God Bless Everyone,

W.C./Sal

My dear friends:

The W.C. Food Pantry needs your help. Thank God they are there to feed our hungry fellow Americans struggling to survive. Due to the drought food supplies have been scarce. Even Feeding America is having a difficult time providing enough food for the many food pantries in need of food.

Our communities have been very blessed by the dedication and hard work of Jim and Ardith Drescher, and the many volunteers that help to feed the hungry. Jim and Ardith would not accept the food shortage as an excuse for our neighbors to go hungry.

An alternative food source was found by the Dreschers. The problem is at the end of this month the W.C. Food Pantry will lose its food storage at the Trostel warehouse. The Trostel storage facility was graciously donated by Trostel for many months, but now they are reopening their business. Jim Drescher has asked me to ask all of you to please network together to find a storage facility for the food. Without suitable space for food storage people will go hungry.

Together we need to support the W.C. Food Pantry in its need to find another storage facility. It would need to be 2,000-3,000 square feet, centrally located in Walworth County.

Presently the W.C. Food Pantry location has outgrown its facility. This is due to the amount of people that are in need of their services.

The best idea would be to contain both the food pantry and storage facility in one building, ideally on one floor. I know together we can find a new building. Please contact us with any leads. Thank you for your caring and sharing.

A very special thank you:

Richard H. Driehaus Charitable Lead Trust, Fox Charities, Ziegler Charitable Foundation, Paul Ziegler, Schawk Family Foundation, William H. and Lois J. McEssy Foundation, Kunes' Country Auto Group, Geneva Lake Development Corp., Leather Lip's Watersports, Lake Como Youth Coalition, Community Foundation of Southern Wisconsin, Carolyn Gable/New Age Transportation/Expect A Miracle, First English Lutheran Church, Mary Kay Ring, Carolyn Flitcroft, Dr. Mark and Cynthia Brower, Eye Physicians and Surgeons Staff, Briggs and Stratton Power of Giving, 4 Aces Bridge Club, JP Morgan Chase, Borg Indak, Inc. Employees, St. James United Methodist Church, Visiting Angels, Robert and Barbara Mardak, Mrs. G. E. Beckendorf, Howard and Maureen Gleason, Donald and Gladys Keith, Thomas and Diane Brauer, Judith Townsend, Katherine Kelly, David and Sharon Ripple, Peter and Ann Catlow, Joan Murphy, Peter and Patricia Brahm, Timothy Greene, Robert and Elizabeth Sanders, Marvin and Shirley Bigelow, Elaine Voss, Douglas and Jean Chase, Scott and Susan Bower, Ronald and Dawn Grenier, Lawrence and Cynthia Rynning, Cynthia Lombardi, David and Janice Busscher, Roland and Diane Schroeder, Bob and Ronnie Dealey, James and Mary Johnson, Patricia Deback, Joseph and Jacque Moser, Patricia Christopherson, Phyllis and Klaus Heirich on behalf of Abbott Corporate Travel Department, Therapists and Staff Christmas Contributions from Whitewater Therapy and Sports Center, W.C. Family Resource Center/Food Pantry volunteers, and all the God loving volunteers of all our caring food pantries, ALL of you who support The Time Is Now to Help donation boxes, and the businesses that allow our donation boxes. Anyone who would like a Time Is Now donation box in your business, please call (262) 249-7000.

Memorials:

Phyllis and Klaus Heirich in memory of Richard Giovannoni.

Honoraries:

Beth Rendall in honor of Wendy Yanke.

Please visit: www.timeisnowtohelp.org.

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